Hmmm.... I started this when Cam (My third son was 3 months old) .I really thought I was going to start this long blog about my struggles at breastfeeding and how badly I wanted to be able to do it and be successful at it. How I came to accept that giving my kids "some" breast-milk is better than none at all, and all I lasted was that first initial entry. LOL oh well.
I still get a bit emotional about not being able to exclusively breastfeed my kids but I was able to give him 8 months of what I had and I never gave up so I feel good about that however there is still that lingering .... what else could I have done ... swimming around my head every now and then. I saw lactation consultants, spent hours on the phone with LLL, read books and articles, rented a hospital grade pump even though I had a regular pump, took a prescription that my OBGYN said would increase my milk supply, I did everything I was told to do and yet still I never made enough. *sigh* I really thought if I wanted it enough it would happen. I blame alot of people that aren't really to blame but I need to blame them to get over it. I Blame the fact that my first was a c-section, which made my next two births a c-section as well. I blame myself for being young and uninformed when I had my first child and not insisting that I DID NOT NEED a C-cection after 3 days of Labor. If I had today's mindset and if I had to do it all over again I think I could of been stronger and insisted on letting my body do what it was supposed to do. I blame the lack of support from my family to keep laboring instead of saying OK to a C-section. I know they truly only wanted the best for me and were looking out for me and I KNOW this now but I can't stop wishing one of us had pushed me through.
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